


Broken Bones

by PagetPaulson



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-16 22:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4642719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PagetPaulson/pseuds/PagetPaulson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tragedy strikes, and she has to reteach herself everything she thought she knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"You're so beautiful."

Emily giggled and leaned across the gear shift, pressing her lips to the older man's when he pulled her head towards his. "Thank you," she grinned, letting him play with a few locks of her hair. "Love you."

Hotch pressed a final kiss to his fiancé's lips before pulling back. "I love you too, darling."

"So the random proclamation on love?" the ambassador's daughter laughed, flipping her dark hair over her shoulders. "What's with that?"

Hotch gave a scoff, grinning over to the younger woman before backing out of their parking spot. "I can't tell my beautiful girl I love her?" They had been driving from state to state on their week off from work, and they were finally almost back home with a bundle of souvenirs in the back seat of their SUV.

Emily leaned back in her seat, a smile staying painted along her face. "Of course you can." She let her head roll to the side and look to the man she loved. "You know I love it when you do that."

"And yet you question it."

The younger brunette immediately nodded her head. "Oh yes," she said cheerfully, trying her best to hide her smile from her fiancé. "It's my job to question."

Hotch reached over the console to take his fiancé's hand in his, and he shook his head. "You shouldn't question my love for you, sweetheart."

Emily almost rolled her eyes. "You sound so corny."

"Is that ok?"

The brunette snorted, her eyes shut as she laughed, nodding her head to agree with the older man. "Of course." She let her head sit back against the seat as she looked around at the beautiful greenery throughout Southern New York. They had wanted to take Jack on their little adventure for the week but Haley had already promised him a summertime trip to her parents house all the way in California, and they couldn't just take him when they wanted. "Jack would have loved this."

Hotch nodded absently along with his fiancé, squeezing her hand just slightly to let her know that he was listening.

"Good thing we got him a million new toys," the agent snorted.

They stayed quiet for a few minutes, enjoying each other in the silence, before a familiar song started on the radio and it made its way into Emily's ears. "Babe," she gasped, letting go of her fiancé's hand so she could turn up the volume in the car. "Listen!"

Hotch turned his attention away from the road for a minute to glance over to the beautiful woman in the passenger seat, and he smiled. "Your favorite song."

"Our favorite song," the brunette corrected.

He laughed as the younger woman started to bop around to the song in her seat, her body swaying as well as it could in her seatbelt from side to side. "You realize I only say that it's our favorite song because it's your favorite song?" He loathed this song; the upbeat tune drilling its way through his ears and into his brain made him want to jump out the window each and every time he heard it. But Emily liked it, so he liked it too.

Emily pouted, reaching back over the console to grab her fiancé's warm hand. "You love this song."

The husky whine in her voice as they came to a stoplight made the older man's face light up in a smile, and he took a small moment to lean in and kiss her lips. "I love you."

Emily grinned, her fingers getting ready to rake themselves through his hair before her eyes glanced out the windshield, and she was a sixteen wheeler coming down the wrong side of the road and barreling straight toward them. "Aaron!"

He gripped the wheel with both hands and stepped on the gas pedal, turning them out of the way of the oncoming truck as best he could.

"Aaron!"

They were hit; the truck slamming into Emily's side of the car and sending the SUV spiraling, flipping them over and pushing them into a ditch just beside the practically deserted road.

She could feel blood running from her nose and eye, the sticky liquid all over her face and dripping down her body. "Aaron?" Her voice cracked, her head pounding as she tried to pick it up. "Aaron?"

"Emily?"

The brunette woman cried out as she tried to move her arms, her body stiff and aching, and her eyes immediately shot open.

Why couldn't she feel her arm?

Hotch groaned as he unbuckled himself, noticing the smoke coming from under the hood of the SUV. "Emily, we have to go."

The chocolate eyed woman cried, her left arm reaching out and pushing against the older man. "Aaron," she whispered fearfully. "Aaron I can't feel anything in my arm."

The Unit Chief went still.

"Aaron!" the scared woman cried out, too scared to look down at her arm. "Aaron you have to help me!"

Hotch was fast to yank her out of her seatbelt, her door too smashed to be able to open, and he dragged her as carefully as he could across the gear shift.

Emily's jaw dropped at the pain, her one good arm holding onto her fiancé as tight as she could.

"You're ok," he whispered, kicking his door wide open so he could get them both out. "Hold on baby, it's ok." The father of one grabbed her around the waist once both his feet were on the ground and pulled, feeling her nails digging into him. "Push against the door with your feet, ok? Push."

The brunette sucked in a breath, a shooting pain coursing up and down her leg.

Hotch noticed the smoke start to bellow out from under the hood of their car and tugged on his fiancé once more. "Push! Now!" He felt her body press against his and he pulled her, sending both of them tumbling down and out of the car. "Here here," he ushered, helping her sit up on the grass. "It's ok."

Emily shook her head, barely hearing as the older man called to the cars on the road to call an ambulance. All she was focused on was the pain. "Aaron," the younger woman whimpered, her eyes small and scared as Hotch knelt down before her. "What's wrong with my arm?"

He pressed a reassuring kiss to her forehead before looking at her right side, his heart falling into his stomach when he didn't see her arm.


	2. Chapter 2

Emily could hear her heart beating hard in her ears as the paramedics did their best to stop her bleeding, speeding toward the nearest hospital. Her dark eyes were staring straight up, her pupils dilated as she tried to process everything going on around her.

Her fiancé was crying beside her, unable to hold her hand.

She had lost her arm.

The firefighters had seen the limb stuck in a wreck of metal, the men immediately helping the two injured agents up the hill and away from the accident before the car exploded.

She had lost her arm.

Her head slightly lolled to one side as they trapped an oxygen mask over her face, looking to the man she had fallen in love with.

Hotch fought the EMT who tried to check his head wound, wanting to keep his eyes on his fiancé the entire time. "Get off of me!" he bellowed, fighting off her hands. "I'm fine!"

"You may have serious head trauma, agent." The scared woman had learned in the beginning of their trip to address each patient as 'agent'.

"Really? You don't think it's best to concentrate on the woman missing an arm?" His tone was harsh, he knew, and he watched the medic flinch. "She's losing blood! Help her!"

Emily took a deep breath of the oxygen she was being given as she felt the ambulance screech to a halt.

She had lost her arm.

...

Hotch paced angrily up and down the hospital's hallway for a good forty minutes before sitting himself down in an empty chair. It was plastic and it was cold, and he finally broke down.

The love of his life had lost her arm; she lost her fucking arm. He had never experienced a crash so bad that someone lost a god damn limb.

He angrily raked his fingers through his hair and caught a few chunks of glass, snatching them between the pads of his fingers and throwing them against the wall.

If she made it through her surgery - Hotch gulped at the morbid thought - how was he going to help her? How could he help her learn everything she needed to learn, tying her shoe, putting on her clothes, holding her soon-to-be stepson with one hand?

It was her right arm that had been torn off - ripped right off underneath her elbow - and Hotch shuddered.

She'd have to learn how to write again with her left hand, how to hold a pen and how to type.

And she wouldn't be allowed back on the job.

Hotch huffed before pulling out his phone, sending a quick mass text to his team telling them what happened.

He needed to call his son.

It was as if he were watching himself type in the number and press the phone against his ear, his coarse fingers running over his temples.

"Aaron?"

Hotch firmly nodded his head. "Haley," he said strongly, his eyes chancing a look up at the door that led to his finance's surgery room. "Hey."

The blond frowned at the tone of the older man. "Aaron, what's wrong?"

His breath caught in his throat, his eyes still glued to the door beginning to water. "Haley..."

She sat up, leaving her laughing son to play with her new husband so she could walk into the kitchen. "Aaron what is it?" Haley's heart broke when she heard him start to cry, something he had done only four times in their entire marriage. "Please tell me. What's wrong?"

Hotch's head bowed as he cried. "There was an accident."

Haley's jaw dropped.

"We were in the car and a truck came barreling at us out of nowhere," he breathed, sending a short prayer up to God as he thought about the woman in surgery. "I have a concussion, it's nothing. But Emily..."

The blond mother of one held her breath, her eyes stinging with tears at the cries from her ex she heard on the other end of the phone.

Hotch put his head in his free hand and let a sob rip from his chest. "The fucking car blew up," he cried, shaking his head. "She lost her arm, Haley. We rolled and it got stuck and she just lost it."

She could feel the tears in her eyes start to fall down her cheeks, her chin trembling at the thought of the friendly woman having such a tragedy happen.

She had lost her arm.

"Aaron," she whispered, turning in her kitchen and looking out to her son smiling to the new father figure in his life. "Aaron, I'm so sorry. Is she ok?" Haley shook her head, swallowing past the lump in her throat. "Is she alive?"

Hotch sucked in a breath. "She's been in surgery for a while. She made it through the ambulance ride on the way here, but she lost a lot of blood." So much blood.

Haley slowly nodded her head. "Well do you want us to come to the hospital? Jack's really missed you both and maybe it'll be good for Emily."

The Unit Chief listened to his ex with pained ears. "I don't know if she'll make it through surgery," he husked. "Please don't come." He couldn't have his son see him this way.

"Can we do anything?"

He looked up at the sound of a door swinging open, his heart dropping when the agent saw it was just a nurse making her rounds through the hall. "I don't know. I'll call you with an update."

Haley nodded against the phone, her hand over her heart as she watched her son wave to her from the next room. "Tell her we love her," the blond whispered. "She'll be ok."

...

Six hours and twenty-nine minutes later, the chocolate eyed agent lay awake in her hospital bed, eyes glassy from the medication and mouth dry.

Her left hand clenched before traveling across her body, inching up the bed she lay on as she tried to find where her arm would begin. Every inch her fingers would travel, her eyes would tear up, and she took in a shuddering breath when she finally reached her shoulder.

She had lost her arm.


	3. Chapter 3

Her dark eyes fearfully shot from corner to corner as she looked around the room, hearing the heart monitor start to pick up. She was panicking.

Her breath came out in pants and her chest hurt from breathing as hard as she was, and her gaze immediately flickered over to the door when it shot open.

Hotch raced to the closest side of the bed, the vein in his forehead that Emily had always watched when he was nervous or angsty or mad popping out as he grabbed onto her hand. "Emily? Em baby, can you hear me?"

The agent quickly nodded her head, her eyes wide as the nurses came filing into the room.

"Emily? Emily what's wrong?"

Was he really asking that? What was wrong? She had lost an arm, that's what was wrong.

Emily gripped her fiancé's hand harder than she meant and heard a small snap, not catching the small wince of the older man as the doctor quickly made his way to her IV. "No please," she whispered, her heart beating so loud she was sure the entire room was echoing, and she wanted desperately to reach out and stop the man in the white jacket from injecting her with a sedative, but she had no arm. "Please!"

Hotch swept her hair from her eyes as the doctor emptied the syringe, and he watched with pained eyes as the love of his life started to breathe even breaths and stop her eyes from shooting from spot to spot. "Baby?"

The agent's head rolled gently to one side, her eyes now slow and glassy. "Aaron I want to leave," she almost slurred now, shaking her head when the doctor gestured for her fiancé to meet with him just outside the room. "Please stay with me."

"I'll be right back."

She sniffled when he slipped his hand from her now weak grasp and let him press a kiss to her forehead. "Don't leave me," she hiccupped, a pang in her heart when he looked back at her once more before shutting the door behind him.

Hotch huffed as he shook the pain from his hand, not able to glance through the window and into the younger woman's room. She couldn't have been more upset. "You didn't have to do that," he gruffed.

The doctor with the ends of his hair just turning white shook his head. "Your wife has gone through a great amount of trauma," he explained, gesturing to the crying woman just on the other side of the door. "She panicked, and we calmed her down."

"You're scaring her," the Unit Chief accused.

"We're making sure she doesn't go into respiratory failure because of a panic attack," the gray haired man shot back. "If we let her panic and have her heart rate blowing up our machines, we'll have a bigger problem on our hands than we do now."

Hotch angrily shook his head, a dizzying sensation raining over him when he did so.

"We're not hurting her, Agent Hotchner," the doctor tried. "We're doing what's best for her. Your wife is a survivor."

He looked up to the older man before him with tears in his eyes. He could hear his fiancé crying just a few feet away. "I need to go back in with her."

The doctor nodded. "I need to tell you that she's not going to react well."

Hotch rolled his eyes.

"She's going to get extremely irritated and angry when she realizes everything she now won't be able to do, and everything she'll have to be taught again. But if you take your time and help her with it, it'll come naturally."

The Unit Chief held his head up and took his hand from his hips. "There's nothing natural about this," he huffed angrily, walking past the doctor and back into the room where he could be with the woman he loved. "Baby?"

Emily cried at the sound of her fiancé's voice. "Aaron," she sobbed, letting him hug her the best he could. "Aaron I'm scared." She let her dark eyes open up and flicker over to the older man. "Take me home."

The beg broke the agent's heart, and he ran his thumb down Emily's wet cheek. "We have to stay for a few days. You lost a lot of blood."

She watched him nod as he continued talking to her, his voice breaking with every word and his tears falling against the skin of her arm. Biting her lip, she let him grasp the one hand she had left, and she held on.


	4. Chapter 4

"Sweetheart," the Unit Chief chided gently, taking her hand as they finished up her last round of antibiotics for the day, "You have to stop touching your bandage." They had had to rebandage her arm twice now because it would continue to unravel, her fingers itching at it each and every moment they were able to.

Emily's eyes slowly made their way over to her fiancé. "I can feel it."

The older man frowned.

"My arm," she nodded, speaking softly. "It's like it's still there."

Hotch didn't know how much more the beautiful woman could take. He had heard about this before, Phantom Limb pain, where army vets and others who had amputations could have moments where they felt as if the appendage was still there. It was heartbreaking, and to be blunt a little creepy. "What can I do?"

Emily felt her eyes welling up once again, and she sniffled. "I just want it back."

The crack in her voice sent her tears spilling over, but she didn't move; she let them fall and drip down her neck and into her hospital gown.

She was officially a victim.

"Do you want me to let them in?" The team had flown in from their vacations and had been waiting out in the hall for over three hours now. They needed to see her. "I can tell them all to go away if you want."

Emily kept her gaze connected to the blank television screen.

Hotch's fingers traveled up and down her arm, a sensation that would usually calm his fiancé and help abandon all her nerves, as he waited for her to react. "Baby?"

Her head finally tilted up so she could look into those hazel eyes. "Is Jack here?"

He had heard her whisper his name a little earlier when she was coming out of one of the only sleeps she had had during her few day stay. "No darling, he isn't." He tried to lean down to kiss her forehead but she gently backed away. "He's with Haley right now."

Emily's chin refused to tremble. All she wanted was to see her little boy.

"Do you want some water?"

She shook her head.

Hotch tried not to sigh. "Do you want me to call him? I'm sure he'd love to hear from his Emmy."

The gentle nudge to her shoulder had that familiar sting popping into her eyes. "I want to see Jack," she whispered, holding back the pain in her voice as much as she could.

The Unit Chief sent a quick text to those waiting outside before facetiming his ex, smiling tightly to the younger woman when her worried face popped onto the screen. "Is Jack there?"

Haley frowned, noticing the wires behind the brunette. "Aaron? Where are you? How is Emily?"

Emily never glanced up from the wall as she heard the familiar voice. "Hi Haley," she rasped, closing her eyes when a gasp came through the phone's speaker.

"Emily? Emily are you ok?"

Hotch kept the phone's camera pointed at himself and he shook his head. "She really wants to speak to Jack," he nodded, looking to his ex with those big eyes he knew would get her to run and get their son.

Haley gulped, walking into the other room and getting the young boy from the couch. "Jack? Sweetie, someone wants to talk to you."

The brunette in the hospital bed closed her eyes, waiting until she knew the phone was before her so she could see that beautiful little boy.

"EMMY!"

Emily felt her tears start to flood once again, a small smile actually painting itself over her features at the sight of him. "Hey Jackie," she smiled, watching him bounce up and down. "How are you?"

Noticing her tears, the young boy quickly leaned closer to the phone. "Don't be sad, Emmy," he shushed, blowing a kiss to the screen. "I miss you!"

She felt her heart break into a million pieces at the kiss she was sent through the phone, and she did her best to keep smiling. "I miss you too, baby," the agent husked. "How are you being with your mommy? You being a good boy?"

The six year old giggled. "Yeah!"

"Good," she praised, Emily's smile starting to grow. "So I need to tell you something."

Jack leaned as close to the phone as he could, wanting to see the most of the woman who had come into his life. "What is it?"

Emily felt her fiancé's hand clasp itself around hers as she took a deep breath. "Baby, we aren't going to be home for a while." She immediately saw his eyes flash to those sad puppy dogs he loved to give her, and she shook her head. "We had a little ouchie."

The blonde's eyes popped open.

"We're ok, buddy. But we have to stay here with the doctors for a little so they make sure we're strong enough to come back home." Emily gave the little boy she loved so much a pained grin. "Superhero strong," she nodded.

Jack gave a pout. "But I miss you."

Hotch squeezed his fiancé's hand before turning the camera back on himself. "Just because we're not coming back right away doesn't mean we don't miss you, buddy. We have to stay to make sure we're all nice and healthy. You want us healthy, don't you?"

Ears perking up, Emily's glassy eyes shot to the door where right outside she knew was the sound of her best friend crying. "Jackie, I think there's someone else here who wants to say hi to you." She could finally let them see her, but she wouldn't have to see the hurt on their faces. They'd have to be happy for Jack.

Hotch looked shocked down to the woman he loved. "You sure?"

"They're going to have to see me sometime," she shrugged. "You can let them in."

The older man got himself up off of the edge of her hospital bed and slowly opened her door, his head sticking out to see all of their friends crowded around.

Emily could feel their eyes on her without even having to look up, Hotch's hand quickly holding onto hers once again to make sure she didn't feel alone. "Hi." Before they could burst into tears, she smiled back to the phone in her fiancé's hand. "Look baby, it's Auntie Penny and Uncle Dave. Do you want to say hi to them?" She heard her soon-to-be stepson immediately cheer up when he saw their familiar faces, and she caught the eyes of Morgan from across the room.

He was angry.

She could give him that; she was angry too. But what could they do about it?

"Uncle Derek!"

Morgan's eyes immediately snapped away from his friend and over to the phone, noticing everyone's pained smiles they were putting on for their favorite little boy. "Hey there little man."

She forced herself not to let anymore tears fall, her eyes red and swollen from her entire hospital stay, and at the looks of her friends, she shook her head.

...

"You used to love when I dressed you."

Emily gave the older man a tired smile as the last button of her shirt was buttoned. "That was after sex," she nodded gently, biting her lip when he kissed her head. "Now you're doing it because I have no arm."

Hotch nodded, leaning down and taking the brunette in his arms, rocking against her as his lips pressed against her ear. "We could always have a quickie."

She smirked, letting him press the smallest kiss to her lips before she backed away. "I doubt the doctor at the door would appreciate that."

The Unit Chief's head turned, smiling guiltily to the older man who held the wheelchair before him. "Good morning," he nodded, his arm tight around his fiancé's waist as he walked her over to the door. "Well, we're ready to go."

The doctor gave a smile to his patient. "You feeling alright?"

"As well as I can be."

Hotch watched as he sunk into the wheelchair without protest, his eyes locking with hers. She was in a state of depression he had never seen before, the smiles she wore to try and please him forced and tired, her eyes never gaining back that sparkle they always held.

Emily watched the gears in her love's brain turn faster than they had in weeks, and she gestured to the handles of her wheelchair. "Ready?"

...

Haley waited for the door to open, her hand clutching her son's desperately. What state would she be in? Would she be crying? She had never seen Emily, the strongest woman she had come to know, cry.

What would they do if she started crying?

Head popping up at the sound of the door opening, Haley gave her ex a tight smile. "How is she?"

"Trying to understand," were the only words the Unit Chief could get out before his son crashed against his legs. "Hey bud!"

Jack let his father pepper his cheek with kisses as he giggled. "Daddy!"

Hotch smiled, ruffling his blond hair before taking a step back. "Guess who's here with daddy?"

The six year old wore a goofy grin. "Emily?"

"You're right," he chuckled, sobering up before taking the boy's hands in his. "Remember we said there was an ouchie? Well Emily has the ouchie, and you have to be super careful with her." Watching his son nod eagerly, his chest tightened. "Bud, I have to warn you ok? Emmy doesn't exactly look the same."

Haley's eyes slammed shut at the words, hearing her son question why.

"She got a big ouchie, Jack," his father whispered. "But she's still your Emmy. I promise."

Jack chewed thoughtfully on his lip as his father led him into the house, hand in hand, and his big brown eyes hitting the older woman on the couch in the living room. "Emmy!"

Emily immediately found herself kneeling on the floor, smiling sadly to the little boy as he ran toward her.

Stopping midstep, the six year old almost had his jaw hit the floor.

Where was her arm?

"Emmy?"

Her eyes watered when he saw his bottom lip start to tremble. "It's ok," she shushed, letting his eyes look into hers. "I'm ok."

Jack shook his head, stepping back and away from the older woman. He couldn't hurt her. "Daddy?"

Emily's chest ached when he hid behind his father's leg, his tiny tears immediately staining his father's slacks as he looked at her.

She was a monster.


	5. Chapter 5

She shrugged off her fiancé for the fourth time that evening as she tried to get her pants rebuttoned. Knowing that it was going to be difficult, she had waited hours upon hours to finally give herself a bathroom break, her mind preoccupied with the little boy they were trying to help understand his stepmother's condition.

It wasn't that she'd frightened him, but that he was afraid to give her a bigger booboo than she already had. What would he do with himself if he hurt her?

"Aaron," she huffed, turning her back on the older man. "At least let me give it a God damn try."

Standing back, Hotch watched as the brunette tried her best to hold the fly of her pants closed with two fingers while the others did their best to get a hold on the button. It had been almost ten minutes of his fiancé fiddling with her jeans and he knew she wasn't going to get it.

But just because she had one less arm didn't mean she was any less his Emily. She was still beautiful, independent self, and it was going to be hard to change that.

Emily's brow knit as she tried to concentrate, her dark eyes narrowing on the offending object. If she could get it buttoned, then she could get it zipped without the zipper reopening, and if she got it zipped, she was good to go.

"Baby?"

Emily sent the older man a glare before an idea popped into her head, and she quickly laid herself down on their bed.

Hotch grinned at the younger woman, knowing she was doing her best to get this done and was doing a damn good job of it. "Are you still trying or are you inviting me down there with you?"

"Shut up." She quickly got her zipper pulled up before her finger pushed the metal button that all of a sudden seemed one size too big through the slit in the denim she wore.

Helping her up, the Unit Chief forced the beautiful woman into a small high five. "Accomplishment."

Emily sadly nodded her head. "Hopefully one of many." She glanced down to the stub that now took up where her arm once was and let out a breath.

She really did look like a monster.

There was a tiny knock on the door, and Emily quickly threw a blanket over her shoulders. She didn't want to scare the little boy anymore than he already had.

"Hey bud," his father smiled, letting the six year old wander into the room. They had let him be by himself for a little while, not wanting to crowd him when he was clearly upset, and he had finally stopped lying around with his toys tucked under his chin to come and be with his parents. "What are you up to?"

Jack stood by the doorway and looked up to his father. "Hi daddy."

Emily's eyes crinkled as she watched her favorite little boy look up to his father.

"You ready to have some dinner?"

Jack held his action figure tight to his chest, looking over to the brunette woman sitting on the edge of her bed. He slowly walked across the room and stood a few feet away from the woman who had become a second mother, and he held out his hand.

Emily's chin trembled.

"Ready for dinner, Emmy?"

The brunette gave a nod before letting her stepson take her hand and lead her out and into the kitchen.

Hotch watched the six year old hold as softly as he could onto the brunette's soft hand, and he followed them out into the kitchen where his son even pulled out her usual chair for her.

"Want some water, Emmy?"

"I would love some," came her husked voice, smiling to her stepson with a watery smile. "Do you want to get it for me?"

Jack quickly nodded, setting down his favorite action figure on the table before running into the kitchen to get her the glass she asked for. "Daddy," he rushed out, yanking on his arm. "I need to help Emmy."

Emily felt a tear slip down her cheek.

Thanking his father, Jack pressed the water against the spout on the door of the fridge and let it fill only half way, knowing he couldn't carry it if it were fully filled, and he walked gently back over to the table and set it down. "There Emmy." He watched as she started to take it in her left hand and immediately stopped her. "Emmy! Both hands!"

Hotch stopped.

She could see he knew his mistake, his eyes immediately beginning to tear up at the words he said. "You're right," the ambassador's daughter nodded. "You should always use two hands, but I can't anymore." Leaning forward, she held the glass out to him. "Do you want to help me?"

Jack forced his lip not to quiver. Straightening his shoulders, he held the other side of the cup and tilted it to her mouth, waiting until she was done sipping before helping her set it down just like a gentleman. "Emmy?"

"Yes baby?"

He hesitated before whispering his words to the older woman, wanting to be as cautious as he possibly could. "Does it hurt?"

Emily caught her fiancé's arms from the other end of the first floor of their home. "A little," she nodded, her voice tight as she tried not to cry. "But it'll be ok soon. I promise."

Jack gave a small itch to his head before stepping forward. He leaned in, not too fast, and pressed his lips to the bandage that popped out from under the older woman's shirt collar. "I love you, Emmy."

"I love you too, baby." She let him hug her around her waist, and she shakily put her arm around him as her fiancé wiped his own tears. She wasn't the same Emmy she had been, and she was going to have to do her best to try and be the best she could be.


	6. Chapter 6

"I can't fall asleep."

Reaching over, the older man brushed his fingers along the skin of Emily's thigh. She had been quiet the rest of the night after dinner with Jack, letting him play alone in the living room while she ventured around the house.

Everything was different now.

It wasn't even that she felt different, but everything around her felt different; everyone. Her entire house felt different.

She had walked around her house and peeked into every room, feeling like a stranger in her own home, before she got to the pictures strung along the wall beside the staircase. They were of her and Jack, her and Jack and Hotch, and her and her fiancé with all of their friends. Even one of her and her father.

She had two arms in each one.

The ambassador's daughter looked her best in each and every photo, her pristine smile shining out to the camera.

Now she didn't know if she even knew how to smile anymore.

Hotch had found her crumpled up in a tiny ball on the stairs, her one arm stained in her tears. He had picked her up, his heart breaking when he felt her weight against him; she barely weighed what she used to. Whispering in her ear, the Unit Chief brought her to their bed and laid her down, letting her curl into his side and cry as long as she wanted.

They had laid there for three hours, and now they were finally trying to sleep.

"I just keep thinking," she whispered, her eyes looking up to the ceiling. "What am I supposed to do?

Hotch rolled on his side and set his chin on her shoulder.

She let her head gently knock against his, the brunette woman let him kiss her cheek. "I'm not me anymore."

The Unit Chief's eyes popped open. "What do you mean? Of course you're you."

Emily's head shook, those brown eyes staring into her fiancé's. "Everything I've ever done is with two arms," she whispered. "I can't be an agent anymore, my mother will probably have a field day when she finally sees me." Feeling her eyes start to sing, she gripped her fiancé's hand. "I can't carry Jack anymore."

"We can always work around those issues," he helped, staring into those dark eyes. "You can relearn everything. You know I'll help you."

Emily hiccupped. "I'm not me anymore."

Hearing her voice break, Hotch immediately wrapped the brunette in his arms, letting her cry into her neck. "Don't cry," he tried to coo, his hand fisting in her dark hair. "You are no less of a person now than you were than."

"Please don't patronize me."

Hotch almost jerked back, looking hard into the beautiful woman's watering eyes. "You listen to me. I love you."

Emily's eyes crinkled as she tried to stop herself from crying.

"You have always been the love of my life, and because of a little accident that's all supposed to change?" Gently kissing her forehead, Hotch brushed those pesky tears away. "You're Emily Rose," he whispered fiercely. "You're strong and independent, don't you know that?" He set their foreheads together. "You are so beautiful."

Her chin trembled at those words, and she quickly pressed her lips to the older man's. "You love me even with my stump?"

The hopefulness in his fiancé's words made him smile, and Hotch rolled her body over his. He wrapped his arms around her and peppered kisses to her cheek. "Even if you had two stumps."

Emily pressed a long kiss to his stubble and snuggled into his neck. "What about my mother?"

"Your mother?" Hotch's lips rested against the younger woman's temple, his hand cupping her hip. "Who cares about your mother?"

The ambassador's daughter had to shake her head at that one. Her accident had already been in all the papers, and after they had found out who she was, she was sure her mother's head exploded.

She hadn't even gotten as much as a call from the older woman.

Emily tried to even her breath out, the hot air hitting her fiancé's neck as she stayed curled into his side. "I know she's upset for me, but the only thing she'll really worry about is how it'll either ruin her image or enhance it. Imagine an ambassador of her stature having to take care of her newly crippled daughter."

Hotch grinned into his fiancé's dark hair. "No one's taking care of you but me."

"Really?" she whispered, holding in the laughter that wanted to escape as he pulled her body closer.

"If you'll let me." He knew she'd break down at times, maybe even fight him on certain things that would be ok one day but forbidden the next. He'd have to struggle with her, but all in all it was for her benefit. "No matter what," the Unit Chief whispered, his hand gripping Emily's, "you'll always be my Emily."


	7. Chapter 7

This chapter before was previously the ending to this story, but I will be picking it up with a new chapter just after this.


	8. Chapter 8

Waking up the next morning, the BAU's Unit Chief frowned at the cold spot in bed beside him. "Emily?" He quickly got out of his bed and practically ran through the halls to find where the injured woman could be. "Emily!"

The brown eyed woman looked up from her task in the kitchen with worried eyes. "Hey," she breathed. "Are you ok?"

Blinking the blurriness from his eyes, the older man nodded his head yes. He took a breath, noting how his fiancé waited for him to explain.

"Do you need some water?"

Hotch tried for a smile. "I can get it." He stepped into the kitchen and watched as the disabled woman picked her knife back up. "What are you doing up so early?"

Emily bit her lip. She'd been up for three hours. "Baking."

He kept himself quiet as he watched her fumble with the slicing of the apples. Taking a glass from the cabinet, he filled it up with cold water to help him wake up.

"Aren't you going to ask why I'm baking?" the younger brunette mused, setting down the knife and picking off the skin of the apples to the best of her abilities.

Hotch shook his head. "No." He had never seen her bake during their entire relationship, but he wasn't going to question it. He had learned his lesson in all the days before when he tried to help her.

Emily's teeth bit hard into her lip as she dropped another piece of fruit on the floor. "It's Jack's favorite." Picking up the apple, she rinsed off the sliced fruit and continued to pick at the skin. "His birthday is in three days and he told me this year he wanted his favorite pie instead of birthday cake." She almost growled at the skin she tried to pick from the apple. Her left hand just didn't want to cooperate.

"You're starting three days in advance?"

The brunette cracked a smile. "At the rate I'm going, it's going to take that long," she joked.

Hotch watched from behind his fiancé as she finally got the skin off of the apple slice and she chopped it carefully a few more times. "That looks perfect." He came up behind her and pressed a kiss to her head. "Do you want me to make breakfast?"

She shook her head, looking over to the dining room. "I made some waffles in the toaster." Jack was supposed to be awake any minute. Frowning, she looked to the waffles and juice she'd set out on the table. "May be cold by now."

"You didn't have to do that."

Emily turned and handed her fiancé the knife she held. "Why don't you finish cutting and I'll go take a small bathroom break?" She let her hand grasp the older man's arm so she could balance on her toes and kiss his lips. "I'll be right back."

Leaving her fiancé in the kitchen, Emily quickly walked down the hall and locked herself in the bathroom. She let out a breath, her chest tight as she sat herself down on the toilet. Her hand was aching, her feet and legs hurting from trying to balance her activities that morning and now she could feel an ache in the stump she had for a shoulder, the stitches pulling slightly.

"Emmy!"

She shot a look to the locked bathroom door. "Morning buddy!" she smiled. "I'll be out in a minute, ok?"

The agent heard her soon-to-be stepson scamper away from the door and down to his father in the kitchen, and she stood from the toilet seat. Flushing to make sure they thought she'd gone to the bathroom, she turned on the faucet. At least one thing was easier with one arm, she tried to joke to herself. Only needed to wash one hand.

Stepping out of the bathroom, the injured woman took a moment to herself to take a deep breath before venturing back into the kitchen.

"Hey," Hotch grinned, setting down the knife. "All done."

Emily's lips thinned out as she reached to where her fiancé stood in the kitchen. She had taken two hours to barely get half of the pie done, and here he was finished in a measly three minutes.

He immediately noticed the frustration on the younger woman's face. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, knowing Jack was just a few feet away.

Emily shook her head.

"I didn't realize you wanted to-"

Another shake of the agent's head stopped the sentence from Hotch's mouth. "It's ok." Turning, she walked into the dining room to get a hug from the six year old. "How'd you sleep, buddy?"

Jack gave a shrug, dragging the older woman to a chair at the table before he sat down himself. "Ok. What 'bout you, Emmy?"

"I slept pretty good," she lied, sipping the juice in front of her plate. "Do you want to do something for me, Jack?"

The six year old's head could have snapped of his little body from how fast he nodded.

Emily sent him a small smile. "How would you like to help daddy with the rest of that pie while I go out for a little bit?"

Hotch's ears perked from his spot in the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

The brunette let out a dramatic sigh to get the young boy to smile. "I was thinking for a run," she nodded. She couldn't feel useless anymore, the least she could be doing was getting herself back in shape.

"Can I come?"

Emily smirked, leaning across the table and pretending to capture the six year old's nose. "Not this time. Spend a little alone time with your daddy and I'll be back in an hour."

Hotch watched the younger woman stand from her seat. "You have physical therapy tomorrow."

The brunette nodded.

"How about a walk?"

Emily let her single arm rise as she shrugged, gesturing around her. "That's pretty much all I've been doing," she groused, "other than lying in bed and crying."

Hotch saw that unchanging emotion on his fiancé's face. It had been depression from the moment the accident happened. "How about we make it a family thing?" he asked her. "We can all go on a walk together."

"I just want to be by myself for a little," Emily finally said, her voice strong. "Is that ok?"

He paused. "Of course." Watching the younger woman walk back to their bedroom, he turned to face his son who had watched the exchange from the dining room. "What about you, Jack? What do you want to do this morning?"

Jack frowned as his father brought him a bowl of strawberries. "Why don't you have work, daddy?"

"Emmy and I are still on vacation." The FBI had given them both an entire month to adjust to their new 'situation'.

"Can we go swimming?"

Watching his son take two strawberries at once and do his best to shove them both in his mouth, the Unit Chief laughed. "Eat your breakfast and then we can go swimming."

It took fifteen minutes for the brunette to change into a tank top and a pair of yoga pants so she could go on her run. She slipped her feet into the already tied shoes, an easy way out of taking a longer time, and she was out into the living room. "Aaron?" She held out the hair tie to him. "Can you put my hair up?"

Turning his fiancé around, he pressed a long kiss to the back of her head before putting the hair up into a ponytail. "You have your phone and your keys?"

She patted the small pocket in her yoga pants.

"You need to take it slow," he reminded her, ignoring the roll of her eyes. "This isn't something to take lightly."

Emily's eyes darkened on the older man at his choice of words. "Don't worry." She jerked her stump of a shoulder in his direction. "It doesn't feel light at all." Waving goodbye to the six year old in the dining room, Emily was out the door.

She hadn't thought of the others who would be out in the city that day.

The moment she was out of the house she and her fiancé had gotten together, she was out on the street of their small gated community, and everyone's eyes were immediately directed at her. They knew her, they liked her, but they hadn't known about her disability until now.

Taking a deep breath, the FBI agent walked down the street and out of their community's gates, stepping onto the public and busy city street. Feeling her body leaning slightly, she readjusted her balance and started off on an easy jog.

She could feel what her doctors had warned her about messing with her balance. Her left arm moved as it usually would while she ran, but without her right arm her body had to regain its balance without an equal weight on either side of her body. The brunette leaned a little to the right as she continued on, passing by an older man on the corner and rounding the park.

It was weird; it felt as if her arm was still there, but it wouldn't do anything to help her.

Emily let her eyes squint as she felt her abdomen clench. She thought about Aaron and Jack, trying to let her anger from just moment ago simmer away so she could look forward to the little boy's birthday in just a few days. She thought about the fact that her physical therapist was going to have a field day when he learned she had gone out for a run against all the doctors' advice.

She thought about the accident.

Blinking away the memory, the wobbling woman picked up her pace.

She thought about the accident every moment of every day no matter how much she wanted to erase it from her memory. The fear she had felt, the sight of the truck coming at their car and the feeling of not feeling her arm when their car had stopped tumbling was engraved in her mind.

She had lost her arm.

"Ma'am!"

Her head couldn't turn fast enough, her one arm slamming into a telephone poll causing her to trip over the sidewalk and fall into the road. Emily's shoulder was the first to hit the ground, and she felt her stitches tear the moment she went flying across the tar.

"Ma'am!"

The honking and screams of the others in the city had Emily's head pounding, taking away from noticing her arm bleeding out. Feeling an arm wrap around her torso, she was yanked out of the city street's right lane before a cab came speeding down toward her.

The dog walker set Emily down on the sidewalk and tried to get her eyes to open. "Miss? Can you hear me?" Tapping at her cheek, he looked up. "Someone call an ambulance!"


	9. Chapter 9

"Don't patronize me," she hissed at the doctor readjusting her hospital bed. "I want you to call my fiancé. I want him here now."

The greying doctor, the wrinkles around his eyes deepening as he looked down to his patient, gave Emily his most calming smile. "Aaron Hotchner, correct? He's already on his way. Your fiancé had to drop his son off with his aunt before he was able to come."

Sighing, the dark haired woman laid back against the pillow. She was going to get an earful from the older man.

"Do your new stitches hurt?"

Emily paused before shaking her head. She could barely feel the right side of her body from the morphine they had given her.

The doctor smiled sadly. "We're going to keep you here for the night," he informed her. "You told me you have an appointment for physical therapy tomorrow but that will have to be postponed. Your therapist will be up and talk to you about it."

"But I can leave tomorrow?"

"You can," he nodded.

Charging past the nurses in the doorway, Hotch barged into his fiancé's hospital room.

The doctor watched as the FBI agent immediately fell to his knees by Emily's bedside, his hands grabbing onto the only one she had left. "Aaron Hotchner?"

"That's me." Hotch gripped Emily's hand as if he were saving her from falling off a cliff, and if he were to let go she'd be gone forever. "Are you ok?"

Emily wanted desperately to pull her hand from the other agent's to give herself space. "I'm fine," she nodded, letting his hand run over her dark hair. "Can you get him to let me out?" the ambassador's daughter whispered to her fiancé.

"I can still hear you," the doctor laughed, "and I will not let you be discharged until tomorrow morning. I'll give you two some space."

Waiting until the doctor left her room, Emily met the eyes of the man she was to marry and could feel hers start to sting. "I know you're probably mad," she whispered tearfully.

Hotch shook his head, peeking over her body to check her amputation. "I'm not mad. What happened? I thought you were just going on a short walk."

Emily kept herself silent for a moment. They both knew the moment she walked out that door that it wasn't going to be any less than a fast jog. "I lost my balance and fell off the sidewalk."

"You could have gotten hit by a car!"

Emily shook her head. "But I didn't," she insisted, wincing as she moved her shoulder to try and show her fiancé. "I just tore my stitches."

"And hit your head," the older man grimaced, wanting to brush his fingers over the stitches near her temple. "They gave you pain killers?"

"Against my will."

Hotch sighed, leaning in and kissing her forehead. "Do you realize how much you scared us?"

Emily's eyes widened. "Jack knows?" If she got a paper cut, the little boy had a heart attack.

"I had to tell him where I was going," he nodded. Smoothing down her hair with his hand once more, Hotch held back the words he would use to reprimand the injured woman in this situation. She didn't need to be reminded of what just happened.

Emily moved her gaze to the ceiling. "You're really not mad at me?" When the older man whispered his denial, the FBI agent cursed under her breath. "I'm mad at me."

Leaning into the hospital bed, Hotch listened to the younger woman.

"I can't do anything," she said sadly. "I know we already had this conversation and I know I cried my eyes out then too, but really what am I supposed to do?"

The Unit Chief tightened his grip on Emily's shaking hand. "We're going to work through it."

"Work through not having my arm? It's not just going to grow back," Emily ground out. "I can't go back to work in the field. What am I supposed to do for a job? I can't sit at home with Jack all day, I'll go crazy."

"Hey," he tried to laugh, "that's our son you're talking about."

Emily looked to her fiancé with watering eyes. "I wanted to go for a run. I wanted to be normal," she shrugged. "And I couldn't even keep my balance long enough to not fall into traffic."

Hotch grimaced. "Yeah, can we maybe stick to a walk for now?"

"Am I supposed to be careful for the rest of my life? Not walk faster than they tell me? Not overexert my one arm? Am I supposed to be some invalid?" Emily's head shook, her head aching from her stitches. "If I want to run, I'm going to run. But if I run, I'll keep falling into traffic."

The older man watched as the tears streamed down his fiancé's cheeks.

"Is physical therapy supposed to rule my life now? From there I'll go home and have dinner with you and Jack, we'll go to sleep and I'll wake up just to come back to the hospital?"

Hotch could feel his own eyes stinging. "What if I did it with you?"

Emily frowned, turning to look at the man by her bedside.

"I'll stay home with you and help you with all of those things," he said with a smile. Leaning in, he pressed his forehead to Emily's. "Jack and I will come with you to physical therapy, we'll make dinner together and we'll fall asleep to a movie. We can do that every day."

The ambassador's daughter shook her head.

"As long as you have to do it, I have to do it." Hotch pressed a long kiss to Emily's trembling lips. "I'm right here with you."


	10. Chapter 10

Walking with her fiancé into the hospital's physical therapy room, Emily's dark eyes darted from patient to patient she saw. One man was trying to grasp a pencil - Emily recognized him from her first trip to the hospital that year, his entire right side almost paralyzed - another trying to steady himself on his one foot and new prosthetic, and a young girl bouncing on an exercise ball.

Her hand immediately shot out to grab onto her fiancé's.

"You ok?" Hotch stopped his stride and stood in front of the younger woman. Pushing one of her curls from her eyes, he fixed it behind her ear. "We can wait a few more minutes before you start."

The amputee held her breath, watching as the little girl from the exercise ball walked toward them.

"Hi!" The little girl with flowing blond hair looked to the boy by the other patient's side. "I'm Haddie," she grinned. "Is this your mommy?"

Jack hid behind Emily's leg.

Holding out her hand to the woman in front of her, the seven year old lit up with a smile. "Dr. Jenny is really fun." Once the stunned woman shook her hand, Haddie's blue eyes looked over to the brunette's obvious missing arm. "What happened?"

"A car accident." Emily let her voice soften as she slowly followed the little girl over to the television she had been watching a moment ago. "What about you?" As the seven year old sat back down on the ball, the FBI agent could see that she wore a curved piece of metal as a left foot.

"My mommy said I was born with it," she nodded. "Dr. Jenny gave me a blade!"

"That I did."

Emily turned her head to see the unfamiliar woman stepping toward the resting section. Standing from her seat, the FBI agent gave her hand to the younger woman. "Emily Prentiss."

"Jennifer Keeler," she smiled. "You're Chris Kard's patient," the doctor nodded. "I'm going to get you started because he's not here today. Is that ok?"

"It is."

Smiling to the little girl in the room, Jennifer sat herself down. "Haddie, are you happy with today?"

The seven year old girl blushed at the smile she was given. "Yup!"

"Ok, then I'll see you on Friday." Waiting until the little girl ran out of the room to meet her parents outside, the physical therapist looked over to her new patient. "Haddie has been with us her entire life," she stated, standing from her chair. "Usually those 'blades' are used for runners when their feet have been amputated, but she wasn't comfortable with our normal prosthetic."

Emily nodded. "Is that usual?" Seeing the doctor's confusion, Emily shrugged. "To not feel comfortable in them?"

Jennifer was quick to nod her head. "Everyone feels different in them. The prosthetic is custom made for you and your amputation. It can be made out of plastic, a mixture of plastic and silicone, and sometimes people choose not to have a prosthetic at all."

Seeing the doctor eyeing the two she'd brought in with her, Emily made her way over to her family. "This is Aaron," she smiled, gesturing to her fiancé, "and this is Jack."

"It's so nice to meet you, Jack," Jennifer grinned. Watching as he slowly brought himself out from behind his father's leg, the therapist pointed over to the television. "We have some games for you to play while I help your mom for a little while. Is that ok?"

Jack looked over to the woman his father was marrying for an affirmative nod before he took off.

Hotch stuck his hand out to finally shake that of the younger woman. "Aaron Hotchner. I hope you don't mind but my son and I will be joining Emily here every day."

"Every day?"

Emily let her fiancé take her hand in his as he explained their situation to her doctor.

Once the older man had finished, the doctor ended up back in a smile. "Alright. Well I'll be working with Emily for the better part of an hour. If you want to sit and watch then that's fine, but if you want to go over and play with your son then that's fine too."

The FBI agent followed the doctor over to the center of the room, her hand reaching out and grabbing one of the parallel bars when she felt herself lose her balance.

"Balancing difficulties?"

Emily wanted to hide her face in embarrassment. "That's the reason my treatment was pushed back," the brunette nodded. "I tried to go out for a jog and I lost my balance." She hesitated with her next sentence as she watched her doctor look to her. "I fell into traffic."

Jennifer grimaced, noticing the nasty bruising on the woman's stump. "Did your stitches tear?"

"Amongst other things," Emily chuckled humorlessly.

Motioning for the older woman to walk over to her, the physical therapist helped her to the top of both bars. "Luckily our first day is all about your balance. It's surprising that with only one arm, your entire center of balance is thrown off." She waited for Emily to step in front of her before she continued. "When you're walking, now you're going to have to put more pressure and weight onto your right leg and foot."

The brunette started taking a few steps forward.

"Putting more weight on the side where you're missing your arm will help you find a new center of gravity," the doctor nodded to herself, watching as the older woman continued walking. "Doing this can get tiring, but it will help in the long run."

Emily frowned at the weird feeling she got as she walked the way the therapist instructed. When she reached the end of the small space, she turned back to face her.

"Now walk back to me."

The agent made her way back over to her doctor, trying to go as slow as she could to get comfortable. "Why am I doing it between the bars?"

Jennifer smiled to the older woman before turning her around and having her walk back down the small aisle the bars created. "You can practice this anywhere, but for our first time I want you between the bars so when you tire out, you have the bar to hold onto."

Hotch sat his son on his lap, pointing over to the woman he was proud to be engaged to. "How good is she doing?"

The now seven year old giggled when his father tickled his side. "So good," he grinned, watching the familiar woman massage her shoulder stump. "Go Emmy!"


End file.
